The next day I had never been so scared in my life to open up an email. My heart was bursting through my chest and it took me about five minutes to finally get up enough nerve to open it. I don't remember a single thing that he said in his letter, except one important phrase that made me the happiest woman on earth.

"I'm in love with you too."

That's all I remember... that's all that mattered.

After that day it all became a blur except the most vital parts of what mattered between us... which was that we grew closer with each passing day, week, month, year.

Oh, we had our arguments, but most of all the times were happy.

I had never had with anyone before, what I had with him. He was my best friend, confidant, and most of all he was the first man I'd ever known that seemed to actually be different than most men most women had the misfortune of running into.

Here and there we briefly talked about meeting one another as we grew closer. Holidays came and went until eventually the day was set. We were to meet on July 31st, 2005.

Michael had purchased his plane ticket and I had decided to purchase one myself, rather than drive to New York to meet him, as it was more costly to drive rather than fly up there directly.

After that, the days seemed to go by relatively fast and the idea of finally meeting him after a four year bond we'd developed over the internet was thrilling and nerve-wrecking all at once.

It was a very exhausting week as the day began to approach. I had decided to move out of my studio apartment into a one bedroom because of an inconsiderate neighbor who played music at all hours without any respect for how it affected others.

I had spent a year dealing with that and I couldn't do it anymore.

So as circumstance would have it, I had to move all of my things the two days before we were to meet. So by the time I made it to the JFK airport I was exhausted, and the worst part was that I had about three more hours to wait before his flight made it in.

I kept watching the clock and my nerves started to get the best of me. An hour went by, then another... and then finally the time had arrived and I was sick to my stomach. And it was really crowded by then and I was way in the back.

I wondered if he would be able to see me past all of those people. I silently reprimanded myself for leaving my spot in the front.

I peeked past a congestion of head and shoulders as new passengers came out by the truck load. There was no sign of him. At least none that I could see.

"Oh god, I hope I haven't missed him." I thought to myself. "I hope he's not part of this large crowd and we somehow missed seeing one another. Oh... I wish I had a cell phone. Then at least I could call him."

Twenty minutes passed. Then an hour. Then finally I managed to salvage a place close to the front of the line where we would have no problems seeing one another.

The intensity of the moment had begun to takes its toll on me and I was convinced we missed one another and he got lost or something. Then finally, I heard several people in the crowd talking. They were waiting for passengers from the same plane.

Apparently the passengers had been delayed somehow, but darned if we knew why.

What a relief. Then suddenly, the passengers from his plane started coming out. My heart started racing again. "I can't take much more of this," I thought. Now, it was a matter of knowing he could be coming out at anytime and I had no idea when.

And then I thought... "Maybe he won't be attracted to me. Maybe he'll want to run back on the plane and head right back to England."

I had secured my place in the front... but now that I had it, did I really want it? I had no one to hide behindnothing to relieve this horrible anticipation revved up by four years of never meeting one another.

"Perhaps I won't recognize him." I thought. "Maybe he looks a lot different from his picture and I'll look like such an idiot because I'll just stand here not realizing that's him."

A young man came out. Blue eyes, dark hair.

"Is that him?" I looked at his clothes. "No that's not him. Michael would never wear those clothes. He hates blue jeans."

Another.

"What about him?" He walked past me, scoping the crowd. "Oh no, that's not him either... he would've recognized me by now."

Forty minutes later, I was calm. Too tired to be nervous anymore. The last few days had finally caught up with me and I no longer had the energy for the anticipation.

I looked around as other passengers came out. Smiles on the faces of the friend or relative in the crowd. Their excitement as they joined the passenger, offering their loved one a big hug and gating out with such joy as if offering a happy ending to a movie.

There was something quite complete about it all. Something very beautiful about watching people connect or re-connect after distance and time had separated them.

Some part of it felt like... magic.

Finally when the crowd had settled down and there were a few of us left, waiting for the passengers on the other side to come out so that we could all go home... Michael came out.

I must've looked like a complete geek when I walked up to him. Cutting underneath the gate placed before the crowd to get to him.

I gave him a big hug and smiled and we headed out of the airport.

I asked him what happened and that I'd been waiting about five hours for him to come out.

"They made us wait for two hours in line," he said.

We stood waiting for a bit for the shuttle bus to arrive. I complimented him on his shirt. I was definitely no longer nervous. I was quite tired in fact and the only thing I could dream about was getting into a nice cozy bed in which I could get the best night's sleep I'd had in ages.

"I like your hair," he said. "I'm jealous."

I smiled and thanked him.

I couldn't wait for the next day to arrive... or to at least get to the hostel, so at least I could feel somewhat comfortable without the distraction of a new place being part of the bargain.

It was hard enough getting used to him... let alone New York. A place that was completely out of my league. I was used to country, clean air, and open spaces. Not loud noises, polluted air, and high-end congestion.

So finally, when our shuttle bus arrived I was relieved.

The entire trip lasted longer than I anticipated. The driver wasn't quite sure where our address was so we were the last to be dropped off. The air conditioner was on and I was freezing. The driver was speeding and driving like a lunatic.

I found it funny between bouts of fatigue, and slightly frightening when it looked as though he was going to kill a jay walker.

Honk honk honk! He landed on his horn as he sped past a pedestrian who was fortunate enough to live that night.

"So this is New York," I thought. "Interesting... this guy is a freakin' nuts."

Aside from that, I tried not to notice the beauty of the intimacy of how nice it felt to sit next to a man I was completely in love within comparison to what it felt like to sit next to a girlfriend who was more or less blah-dee-blah-dah.

There was a world of difference between the two.

But I tried not to think too much about, since I was still unsure of how he felt about me. I expected the day after would give me a bit more insight.

Finally about an hour or two later we made it to the hostel and found our room. It was late and we were tired and I suspected Michael might be suffering from a bit of jetlag. He looked as tired as I felt.

We shuffled around the tiny room for a bit, trying to get everything in order. Once everything was settled we got into our jammies and settled in for a good night's sleep.

Tomorrow would be a new day... full of excitement and adventure!