Learning how to capitulate can be one of the best skills for your relationship. But you know what? I can hear it now: "But isn't capitulation just giving in and being co-dependent with someone?" Well it can be. Especially if it is done on a regular basis over time. Over the course of a long term love relationship there are times when the best thing to do is try it the other person's preferred way. The capitulating partner basically says "Our relationship and our happiness are more important to me than this issue. Let's try it your way." Another way to look at it is there are times when an issue is very important to one person and of little importance to the other person. In this case, because it is not important to you, the other person can do things their way. The last guy of the group of guys with whom I grew up did not marry until he was almost 40. Let's just say he was fairly set in his ways. When I asked him how things were going after the first year of marriage. His response showed a great deal of wisdom for the first year of marriage: "I finally figured out that the sun will come up tomorrow if we try it her way." That is not co-dependency, that is called cooperation. |
